----- Original Message ----- From: "Kelley McCormick"
To: "Somerville Senators" Sent: Tuesday, April 12, 2005 12:22 PM Subject: Re: Practices 7:30 PM, stretching 7:31 PM, Nicky grabs his hamstring complaining of tightness after Chuckie outruns him in the first warmup sprint. 7:31:30PM, Stats shows up and gives his first can't miss stock tip of the young season. 7:32PM, Cappy pockets five pearls after Al turns around to yell at Nicky about something from last year. 7:35PM, Russ officially bellows/scrams for the first time, marking the offical opening of Senators season 7:37PM, AKA "Fast Eddie" shows up, climbs backstop, and throws out first ball (that has been stuck in top of the backstop since last October), and then threatens to kill all the Senators. 7:37:18, Cappy steals that ball too. 7:45PM, Nicky hits batting practice pitch off fence in left field. Convinced of his new power, Nicky then grounds out 11 times in a row to second base. 7:50PM, Pete foolishly allows cappy to use one of the new bats on a "test swing". Cappy somehow breaks it without so much as touching the first BP pitch offered. 8:00PM, Tocco runs three sprints, calls it a season and breaks out the lawnchair and cooler. 8:05PM, stats' stock tip goes bankrupt and everyone but Stats is indicted for securities fraud. Stats shorted the stock after pushing it and made a killing on the spread. 8:10PM, Murph pulls into the parking lot, gets out of his (stolen) car wearing his armor-alled shin pads, immediately drinks all the beer and whisky, sucks three gallons of gas out of Tocco's car (2 for his commute back to JP, 1 to drink while commuting back). Murph will not be seen again until Pete Mastro purchases over 400 dollars worth of meat at BJ's. 8:40PM, pete the Pencil arrives with more beer for the whole team, chases balls all around the park, and then feels bad about taking some swings. 9:45PM, Al, Dunny,Tocc, and everyone else not subject to drug testing go and have a private meeting over important gardening issues confronting the Senators.Cappy comes back and steals the Doritos along with a couple more pearls. Al comes back, hugs and hi-fi's everyone, and then makes promises which incur severe financial damage to Pete. 7:30AM, Senators call it a night in the parking lot after greeting the sunrise (and the Somerville PD) to the haunting sounds of Russ re-living his one movie acting career. 8:00AM, Sal the can guy picks up his 1 millionth Senator empty, lists it on E-Bay for five figures. Alan Zuccaro buys it (with Murph's girlfiriend's credit card, unbeknownst to her) just to spite Al.